.
“While cognitive labour or the mental load is definitely hidden, relative to physical chores, I wanted to try to bring it into the light so we can see it and talk about it.
“And to do that, we needed a really precise definition.”
What are the four stages of cognitive labour?
Daminger’s research focuses on cognitive labour, which she says overlaps with the mental load but isn’t quite the same.
“I define cognitive labour as a set of mental processes aimed at figuring out what the family requires, what it owes to others, and how best to ensure that both requirements and obligations are fulfilled.
“Put in much simpler terms, it’s like project management for the household.”
Basically, cognitive labour is the “thinking part” of the mental load, but the mental load also covers emotional labour , such as regulating our own emotions as well as managing the emotions of others in our household.
The four stages of cognitive labour Daminger has identified are:
Anticipating a need: what’s coming up that we need to plan for, deal with, or otherwise address?Identifying options: what are the different ways we might reasonably meet this need?Deciding: which option are we going to go with?Monitoring: did this decision get executed successfully, and did it resolve the underlying issue?
Lyn Craig, a professor of sociology and social policy at the University of Melbourne, says breaking down cognitive labour in this way helps to recognise it as work.
“If I was someone’s secretary — this [work] is exactly what I am paid to do.
“It’s worthwhile to count the planning and organising of the project management aspect that isn’t evident when just asking people — what were you doing all day?”
The stage where men most often contribute
While Daminger’s research found mothers did more in all four stages, particularly more of the anticipation and monitoring work, there was one stage where men were more active than others: decision-making.
“Male and female participation in decision-making, arguably the cognitive labour component most closely linked to power and influence, is roughly equal,” the research states.
Basically, fathers are informed when it comes to making a call, but it’s the mothers that do the groundwork to get them there.
“There is quite a lot of preliminary work that goes into presenting someone with options they could decide between,” Craig says.
She says while it may be about power, including male partners in decision-making is also about managing emotional labour.
“If we take on a play date for Joey, how will that affect getting Susie to soccer, and that will have an implication for Mark [husband] as well — which do you prefer, Mark?
“It’s not like sharing the load really, it’s more like an extra part of the emotional labour … working out how it [the decision] will affect him and his emotional needs.”
Rightly or wrongly, Craig says it’s “sensible” for a woman to include men in decision-making because they will have to deal with his reaction if he’s inconvenienced by the decision.
How carrying the load impacts women
Mothers “don’t get a complete break”, says Craig, which can lead to stress, overload and exhaustion .
Research shows women are more likely to include children in their leisure time, while men are more likely to have child-free leisure .
And even if women are not physically with the children, “they are concerned about them … hoping dad’s outing is going well and he remembered to pick up the sandwiches,” says Craig.
Daminger says her research has shown women often feel like “they had a million things happening at once”.
Are women really ‘better’ at cognitive labour?
Traditional gender roles and society’s expectations result in women taking on more of the mental load, says Craig.
“The work world is structured around the expectation that women will be doing this, and men are less likely to.”
Women become more specialised in cognitive and emotional labour in the home, not because they are inherently good at it, but because they have “gotten a lot more practice … and as a result, have built up relevant skills,” says Daminger.
That means it can be hard to “switch things up when there’s often a steep learning curve for someone new to take things on,” she says.
“Women are also the ones who will be held accountable or judged when things go wrong at home, Daminger says, “which means the stakes are often higher for them”.
Craig says it’s the kids who may suffer if mothers try to hand over duties.
“A woman might say [to her partner]: ‘You are on lunches this week.’ If it doesn’t happen, it’s not the man that doesn’t get to eat lunch, it’s the kids.
“It’s not going to relieve you mentally if you are worrying something you would normally do will not be done.”
Men may also have a hard time breaking into parenting communities, which tend to be very mum-centric, Daminger says, meaning they don’t have the same information and support.
These barriers are not issues couples alone can resolve, but Craig says talking about cognitive labour as work in the household can help.
Other experts recommend families catalogue the work , discuss it, and then equally divide it.
