Source: Radio New Zealand
Auckland psychologist David Stebbing said there were a number of resources available for those in need of support. Unsplash / Brooke Cagle
An Auckland psychologist says holidays like Mother’s Day can be painful reminders of loss.
While many will be celebrating Mother’s Day, other’s will be mourning those mums who are no longer here.
David Stebbing is a psychologist with qualifications in family and child psychology.
He told RNZ Mother’s Day could be difficult for those who’ve lost loved ones.
“Any dates that are really significant to an individual like a birthday, or Mother’s Day, or Christmas, or something that has that celebratory component, can end up being a more painful reminder rather than something to celebrate.”
Stebbing said people could sometimes feel out of step with the mood.
“If you are essentially going through your day to day life in a relatively comfortable state and then there is something that’s a really salient reminder, it can obviously transport you back in a way that revisits some of those feelings of loss and bereavement,” he said.
It was also difficult for those families where wife and mother had died, Stebbing said.
“Collectively getting together to be able to celebrate the life, and commiserate the loss of that really significant partner and parent together can be a really helpful way to get through, and to connect,” he said.
“I also think for some people […] perhaps going to the grave site or getting out some photo albums and looking through those can be both preparatory things, so you make some plans in advance for that, and also can help you to be both as sad as you need to be whilst at the same time having the opportunity to really positively remember the importance of that person to you.”
Stebbing said there were a number of resources available for those in need of support.
“There is a lot in the way of podcasts and other resources online that can be really helpful for people,” he said.
“There’s such a range now, there’s a lot of opportunity to look into really specific things like the loss of a parent, and you’ll find quite a lot of resource that can be really quite useful, and it’s a case of really just cherry picking that a wee bit.”
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– Published by EveningReport.nz and AsiaPacificReport.nz, see: MIL OSI in partnership with Radio New Zealand