Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Alexandra James, Research Fellow, Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society, La Trobe University
Among the corsets and chemistry, the latest season of Bridgerton gets one thing right: the taboos around talking about sex and sexual pleasure.
Newlywed Francesca asks in hushed confusion what it means to reach “the pinnacle” (orgasm). As she cannot reach one, she is concerned this may be linked to her inability to fall pregnant.
When Francesca seeks advice from her mother Violet, she’s told:
A pinnacle, it is pleasant … It is a delightful um, closeness, that is um, it’s nearly impossible to describe. It’s like a shared language. And when you speak the same language you are able to feel um [a] magical, special feeling inside.
Bridgerton may be a Regency-era historical fantasy. But this dynamic mirrors what we see today – young people want information about sex and sexual pleasure, yet parents often feel awkward and ill-equipped to provide it.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Some things don’t change
Young people today consistently say they want information about sex and relationships that emphasises emotions and pleasure. But they often learn about it from peers or online.
Meanwhile, many parents share their discomfort when discussing the more intimate dimensions of sexuality.
In our 2025 study of Australian parents and carers, many said they were uncertain about how to initiate or sustain meaningful conversations about sex and relationships. They were unsure what information was age-appropriate, especially where children may already find sexual content online.
Parents and carers were more confident talking about body image, consent and safety, puberty and periods. But they were particularly uncomfortable talking about sexual pleasure, satisfaction and masturbation.
Parents frequently connected their unease to their own upbringing, describing childhood homes where sex was rarely discussed openly. (In Bridgerton, when Francesca’s mother later admits she struggles to talk about sex even with her lover, the parallel is hard to miss.)
Parents who felt more comfortable discussing sex with partners, friends or health professionals were more likely to feel confident talking about it with their children.
Mothers still take the lead
While Francesca searches for information about her own pleasure, a female housekeeper cautions her brother Benedict about power and responsibility when she notices his attraction to Sophie, a housemaid.
This echoes contemporary differences in how sons and daughters are prepared for intimate relationships. Boys are positioned to manage power and consent, often with less space to explore ideas of love and romance.
Significantly, it is also women who most often take on this preparatory work.
In Bridgerton, the roles of Francesca’s mother, her sister-in-law Penelope and the housekeeper reflect a broader pattern of gendered labour in sex education: women continue to be positioned as the default parent responsible for navigating these conversations.
In our study, mothers reported significantly higher confidence than fathers in discussing consent and safety with both daughters and sons, compared with fathers, particularly fathers of sons.
What about pleasure?
When we talk about sex only in terms of risk, focusing on pregnancy, infection and harm, we also narrow the story young people can tell about intimacy.
It can reinforce a familiar binary: boys as potential perpetrators, girls as potential victims, and sex itself as something that “happens” rather than something negotiated.
Leaving pleasure out of conversations between parents and their children doesn’t make conversations safer; it makes them incomplete. Without a language for desire, boundaries and dissatisfaction, young people have fewer tools to recognise coercion, communicate their needs, or imagine sex that is mutual and wanted.
We also cannot expect young people, especially young women, to advocate for their own pleasure if they have never been given the vocabulary to understand what it is and what to expect.
We also know young people ask for clarity about the “mechanics” of sex; how it works, what it feels like, and how to do it.
Parents play an important role in supporting this learning, particularly as sexual pleasure and wellbeing are among the topics less likely to be covered in school-based education, which has tended to focus on reducing harm.
Read more: 6 ways to talk to your teens about sex without the cringe
But some things have changed
If parents are reluctant to talk to their children about sex and relationships, it’s rarely because they don’t want to. Our study shows they’re not certain what to say, when to say it, and how much detail to provide.
Many parents worried their child would feel uncomfortable, or feared saying the wrong thing. One in three said they had not had any conversations about sex or relationships with their children in the past 12 months.
But unlike in Bridgerton, today’s parents are not confined to metaphor. Resources exist to support more open, direct conversations about bodies, relationships and pleasure, which young people want.
Talking about sex, especially pleasure, can feel uncomfortable. But this is not a reason to stay silent. It is often a sign the conversation matters.
Talk soon. Talk often: a guide for parents talking to their kids about sex helps parents judge age-appropriate information and how to talk about it.
– ref. What Bridgerton’s ‘pinnacle’ tells us about sex talk today – https://theconversation.com/what-bridgertons-pinnacle-tells-us-about-sex-talk-today-276504
